Knowing when to bite your tongue...

Knowing when to bite your tongue...
After going through this ordeal I wanted to get peoples inputs about when it's appropriate to bite your tongue and not "fuel the fire" and when it's right to stand up for ones self when ones character is being slandered in front of their face.

I'm going to make a long story short but keeping the imperative details in so hopefully you can guide me on if what my choice was (which was to bite my tongue and take the insults) the right thing to do...in really which case I know I did. BUT more interesting is what would YOU have done?

Okay so, my now husband, then boyfriend, and I attend an out of state union between two of his friends. This location was awesome and beautiful...only down part is, there was no way to get a hold of anyone via cell phone or e-mail...nature at it's best. Though there were many bumps in the road the end results were still the same. These two best friends got married and so starts their life together as one.
The day of departure from Cali was horrible. After a long night of celebration we went back to our lodge and woke up the next morning trying to figure out who was going where and what time and when people's flights left and so on... (Trying to make this "to the point" so bear with me) We called the house of where the whole wedding party was at to make sure we were going stay with them till flights left or if we should leave with the other people who were leaving at 8:30 am (at this point we were already awake and packed and ready to leave anyway). Basically...the call ended with "don't worry about it. Yeah we'll come pick you up. It's not a big deal. We won't strand you." AFTER stating (not word for word) that we could catch a ride with the people who were already leaving and meet up with the rest later somehow. (And yes this was said cause I said it). But was told it wasn't going to be a problem being picked up.

Well here comes 10:00 rolling in (after the first party had already left for town (4 + hour drive) and then we get a call pretty much telling us to try and find another ride cause we were way out of the way and would hold back the rest of the group if they were to come pick us up. WELL, we couldn't get a hold of the first party (cell phones didn't have reception), we called for a taxi but they didn't come out to where we were located at...there were no bus lines that was out our way (we're in the mountains) and I even asked people who were staying at the resort place if we could get a ride to town and well...not only was that humiliating but they said no. After getting in contact with the rest of the group and telling them "we still need a ride" all hell broke loose.

So now you got the gist of it...the ending didn't come out so well. We were accused of "ruining everyone's vacation", we were "selfish", we had people "going out of their way for us to be "chaffered" around", we were "holding people back from enjoying their vacation."

After being yelled at and being told we're selfish and rude and so on and so forth all I wanted to say was "talk to the fucker who said they'd pick us up. Who told us that it wasn't an issue and wasn't a problem. Instead he said "I wasn't awake and didn't know what they were asking." Instead of being a man and owning up to his mistake or verifying with the rest of the group that it wasn't an issue to come pick us up (we were 45 min away from the rest of the group only cause there wasn't "room" for us where they were staying at) He cowered in the corner and basically all the blame was put on us. I was furious but this weekend wasn't about me or my bf but the two couple so we bit our tongues and took the insults and the yelling and character bashing.

In a way I feel like we had grounds to defend ourselves but then we didn't want to fuel the fire and considering we already "ruined" everyone's time (apparently not our own...like we didn't want to trail off and go see the beach and actually spend the last day of vacation together and wanted to leave early and explore what was around us but though the "itinerary" consisted of hanging out together and lunch/dinner together and where we THOUGHT if we went and did our own thing it'd be rude if plans were already made for us. BUT once again we were wrong and got kicked in the ass for it.

SO did we do the right thing? I question cause for me ...my views on some of these people totally changed unfortunately. Instead of taking some credit to oneself and realized nothing was planned and things were chaotic and when things were stated "yeah we'll have to talk about the plans later" and yet nothing was ever discussed EVEN WHEN it was brought up all the blame went to mainly just one person.
No one can ever or will ever take 100% of the blame...it's easier to distribute it.
I take the blame for not having a backup plan, for assuming things will go as planned, for not having our own rental car, for wanting to spend time with friends and enjoying a celebrated day and for counting on others that things will go smoothly. I take 100% of the blame for that.